Postpartum Home Massage : Pros & Cons
I spent seventeen years as a traveling massage therapists visiting homes. Within that time, I happily offered pregnancy and postpartum massage into my career. The idea of serving moms after birth seemed beautiful in theory. Altruistically, it is very rewarding to serve a family after they’ve experience the birth of a child. Recently, a fellow therapist shared a social media post on a nursing mother while receiving massage. It was the picture of serenity as the new mother lay on her side, newborn quietly at her breast as the massage therapist applied oil and stretched her arm. However, in my professional experience I’m here to share that it is a brief moment in time. The reality of experience a massage at home soon after birth is quite different. Let’s begin with the pros.
Pros
You don’t have to travel and leave your home while in a delicate state. Your body hurts and the last thing you want to do is get in your car and drive to an appointment. The idea of a massage therapist appearing at your door seems blissful. When your feeding on demand it’s convenient to not have to plan a trip outside the home when your baby is feeding every two or three hours. Your catching up on precious sleep when they are sleeping. There’s no anxiety about leaving your newborn, that is only a few feet away as you’re receiving a massage. You can glance over every so often and feel assured that your baby is safe nearby as your getting your physical recovery.
Cons
Your home is most likely not set up for a relaxing massage experience. The baby is crying and whimpering every few seconds and the temptation to rise from the massage table is too much (I have seen this). Nursing a child while you’re getting a massage prohibits the massage therapist from working on the muscle in a way that is worth your time and money. The probability of being interrupted at home by your older children, your domestic help, your spouse or your dog or cat is very high.
The therapist is stressed which translates into the massage you’re paying for but usually stays silent because they’re trying to be accommodating. The baby cries, a lot and you’re constantly tending to it. Before you know, the hour or 90 minute session you paid for is over and you barely feel any better. Frustrated, you pay the therapist for their time with a screaming baby in the background or in your arms. The home space should be a space for relaxation and restoration but it rarely is. Family members are dropping by and they may want to get a massage as well which you may feel obligated to ask about. Boundaries are blurred in the home space and a massage is a professional health care service.
Your body needs physical care and that requires focus from your therapist to do the best job possible. It may seem helpful when your therapist stops to carry your child and soothe them in their arms as you rest but unless you both have agreed the visit required additional services, this is outside of the work you’ve paid them for. When you visit a facility for your postpartum massage you don’t have to clean or tidy up before the therapist arrives. The place where you’re going is already clean, sanitized and free from disruption, which is what you need the most.
As a new mother, your hormones often trigger strong emotions and an environment away from home that was designed to make you feel safe and nurtured; as well as get the muscle tension relief you need all need to take place. Your massage space needs to be a symphony of quiet and peace and that will rarely happen in a home with a new born baby. Your strong motherly instincts will kick in, and you will interrupt your massage at the slightest whimper of your little one. Massage is a healing one-to-one experience between you and your therapist.
It is your sacred time to rest in all aspects, mentally and physically. You will not be able to connect your body well and give feedback if your baby is in the background. Mothers that practice self-care and healthy boundaries know this and plan accordingly. Organizing child care for your own care is worthy of being considered. Peace and quiet are needed for you, for a brief period of time and a quiet space for massage can give that to you. If you cannot leave your child because it causes to much anxiety speak with a mental health provider about your support system after birth.
Belief systems about being a bad mother when you take a small fraction of the day to care for yourself may be deeply ingrained from your family history . Messages of being selfish may be sent to you by critical in-laws or relatives that never took the time to care for themselves after birth. Expect the backlash but stand up for yourself and be your own advocate for postpartum recovery. When you return to your baby you will feel more refreshed and the more you nourish yourself the higher quality care you can give to your child for decades to come. We have seen many mothers visit for a postpartum massage after passing through that mental hurdle and feel all the better for it.
Learn more about postpartum massage in our comprehensive post here.
