How to Love Your Baby with Massage
Children are special, of that there is no doubt. Simply being around a happy child can bring instant joy. However, the joy in children comes from a place of feeling loved which can be shown by feeling connected. Children bond in different ways than adults in that their need for assurance is higher. For some children, the basic need for loving touch is not available. School teachers are on the front lines of engagement with the children in our society. They can point out the kids in the classroom which come from a home void of loving touch.
At a young age, the child may react in extreme ways such as acting out in rebellious outbursts. On the opposite end they may insist on receiving hugs and needing physical attention from strangers. Children are highly sensitive to the world around them. The security they find in loving adults can positively influence how easily they cope with life’s challenges.
Children that do not have this can feel isolated which may cause them to react in negative ways in a desperate attempt to seek attention. There are many ways to bond with children but today we’ll explore a specific way. The power of safe and healthy touch through massage can positively change the dynamic of a child’s life and your relationship with them.
Skin to Skin
People crave human touch, it’s a necessity for us. However, babies are new to the world and unable to vocalize this need. Medical studies have shown that Kangaroo Care (taking a newborn and placing it directly on the mother/father’s skin) creates an instant bond and soothes the child incredibly. This calming affect not only helps the child but also the parent, helping to create a deep love and foundation for protection towards the child.
Culture Lacking Touch
The culture in the United States breeds a sense of independence and individualism which is what has created so many impressive feats. Some parents are concerned with coddling their child through touch and creating dependency. However, they must understand that the need to receive love through touch for a person is timeless. This does not create a needy child but a secure one. As they age, the natural progression of their desire for independence will flourish. Depriving your baby or child of comfort through touch will create a discomfort towards physical affection as an adult. They will find it difficult to process displaying love through this method and it may negatively impact their personal relationships in the future. It is one of the great reasons that the United States has such a large population of lonely and abandoned parents during their senior years.
A Human Need
In Psychology there is a concept called Maslow’s Theory of Human Needs. In this theory there are five levels that every person requires to feel complete and secure. The first are material needs such as a physical home, clothes etc. The second is the need to feel safe, the third is the need of being loved and belonging to a family or a type of family. The fourth is self-esteem and the last self-actualization. Massage relates to the need to feel safe and it boosts esteem, therefore serving children on a fundamental level.
Children absorb their world and enjoy receiving attention. The power of loving touch through massage is a healthy method of bonding that children have reported to enjoy immensely. Yes, babies may wiggle and squirm a bit first, however after a short while they relax into the massage and truly enjoy it. Massage is a creative activity that gives you the opportunity to offer nurturing through your hands. It soothes the nervous system of both the giver and the child in a natural way. It also provides a unique experience that only you can give.
Children Need Consistency
To develop a healthy and strong connection with your baby, consistency in a massage routine is helpful. Children have an incredible memory when something triggers an emotion. However, the experience must done on a regular schedule in order for them to gain a deeper understanding. The quiet time of giving massage to baby or child is also an excellent opportunity to speak about safe touch. This is a sensitive topic but one of great importance. There are many predators in the world today. Your child may be easily fooled when a person that confuses them that a violation of their bodies is a loving touch. Cases have been found where children that had been exposed to this abuse for years had a little to no connection with their parents or instruction on what safe touch is. Introducing massage into your child’s life will not only create a beautiful bonding experience but you’ll discuss the different ways to show what touch is appropriate.
How to Begin
Begin by taking a specific time during the week for fifteen to thirty minutes. I recommend using the the same day of the week and the time. This will help your baby or child feel settled in a routine. Children enjoy forming habits and you can help create a sense of happy anticipation. Explain to your child that this is a special loving time between the two of you. You can use this time to sing to your child or tell your child a story. Refrain from using this time to give a lecture or discuss anything negative. Associating massage with negative experiences can severely damage your child’s comprehension of what it is. Your goal is to bond with your child. Do not massage your child if you are angry or feeling strong emotions, if you have a spouse or grandparent, have them step in your place. Words can easily be expressed but cannot be sincere. With touch, there is no faking.
Babies and children are highly intuitive and perceive your intention immediately when you begin to massage. If you don’t know how to massage, take a class to learn techniques and enjoy meeting other parents in a classroom setting. This is also a great place for baby or your child to socialize afterwards.
Once you acquire the habit of massage, you can also relax into the time and space of the routine. Many professionals that practice giving massage will tell you that giving massage is also therapeutic. It’s a form of transmitting care and concern for the person and is greatly rewarding. Take the time to consider all the benefits of adding massage for your baby or child, This will not only help them but you as well.
