Good vs. Bad Stress (How to Recognize Both)

When you look at the lifestyle shift that most people have adapted to and lead today, negative chronic stress is everywhere. First, let’s break down the concept of stress to better understand it. There’s good stress such as

• the arrival of a new baby
  
• starting a new job
  
• planning your next vacation
  

That is usually coupled with feelings of excitement and happiness. It relates to good emotions. Then you have negative stress

• Ongoing illness
  
• Consistent arguments at home
  
• sickness or death of a loved one
• Acne
• Anger
• Anxiety
• Headaches
• Heart racing/palpitations
• Insomnia
• Irritability
• Muscle aches
  

A continuity of high and negative stress levels without a sufficient recovery time is what doctors and most other health professionals warn their patients about. They educate that this specific kind of ongoing stress causes illness and disease in your body.

In normal doses our bodies are actually designed to handle stress. The word stress has such a bad connotation but we need it in our lives, we just don’t need it to the degree that most people have it today.

When we are caring for a sick relative or spouse, jumping from one zoom meeting to the other, feeling overwhelmed by financial demands it wears us out mentally and emotionally. Eventually it begins to damage our physical body as well. Being educated about stress management of your life as circumstances change is a crucial part of your overall health.

Author Pamela Wartian Smith MD writes in her book What You Must Know About Women’s Hormones “ The simplest way to stop your cortisol levels from increasing is to better manage your stress. However, as you get older, this becomes more difficult, because your ability to bounce back after a stressful event is reduced. Each event takes a deeper and more lasting toll on your body. Premature aging and many age-related disorders can begin with excessive stress.” We cannot live in isolation and in fear of avoiding stress altogether in life. Learning how to respond to stress begins by changing out mental outlook as well as reducing some aspects of our lives which cause continuous negative effects. However, learning how to cope with difficult circumstances through healthy confrontation is a useful skill in life.

Relaxation from Massage

Receiving regular massage is one therapeutic tool to help you lower your stress levels. Massage helps the body to reduce muscle pain caused by too much tension which originates from emotional and mental stress. Getting a massage helps you to relax in a healthy and positive way. Chemically, you release endorphins and oxytocin in your brain that help you feel good and help you relax naturally. Certain techniques soothe your entire nervous system sending signals to your brain that help you feel calm. You can experience this from just one session. But much like eating well and exercise, the long term effects are seen with consistency. Like with all natural things, it is a slow process but has long lasting effects. Massage therapy is unique in that one of the components that reduces stress is human touch. With the advent of robotics and massage percussion tools people wonder whether massage providers can be replaced. However, human touch when administered in a safe and nurturing way is an effective way for people to relax. Consider the power of a nurse holding the hand of a patient during times of pain and stress. The way massage therapy provides a relaxation aspect in people’s lives is highly beneficial. When massage therapists feel good in their own bodies, the care that they transmit through their touch reduces stress levels significantly. Being in constant physical pain can elevate your stress levels. When you release the muscle that causes said pain, your negative stress level cycle will be cut short and you’ll feel so much better. Relaxation can be felt even with therapeutic, sports or deep tissue massage. The pressure of the massage does not matter so much as the techniques, how much you trust your therapist and how you feel afterwards.

Daily Balance

Balance. We hear that word everywhere right? It’s an approach to health and lifestyle practiced in many countries in the world. We need a healthy mix of stress (to move things along) and also slow, calming moments practiced in our daily lives. 

If you live in a fast-paced society,it’s time to take an assessment and remove the negative stress from your life. Strive to practice daily relaxation rituals and methods as well as long term goals  such as vacations that you find relaxing. Here are some daily ways that can help you cope when you feel overwhelmed: 

• conscious breathing
  
• loving physical contact such as hugs or cuddling
  
• physical exercise
  

Throughout the year enjoy moments where you can put your cell phone,tablet and laptop away from your body. Technology excites and we have become an on-demand society. Let’s take back our power and put the devices away from our sight for pockets of time. I like to place my cell phone in a drawer and “put it to sleep” especially when I’m sleeping or napping. Learn to enjoy something non-tech related slowly. For example reading a physical book or baking (without your phone for the recipes!). If you live life at high-speed without balancing it out with pleasurable and slow practices it will unfortunately begin to affect your health in a very negative way such as

• fighting with others
  
• tension headaches
  
• loss of sleep
  
• eating junk food or any food that is high in sugar or fried for comfort
  

Remember, life should have short bursts of stress and not all of it is bad. For example we need stress in emergency situations to act fast, even save lives. The key is to prioritize your tasks and listen to your body, realizing that not everything is urgent or an emergency, even when others in your life claim your time. You get to decide what to prioritize, even when you work for someone else. 

Create downtime for journaling, whether it’s on voice memos in your phone, small video clips or handwriting. Make some time to sit back and analyze your life: what’s causing you negative stress? Can you remove it? Maybe not right away but you can start with baby steps towards altering it considerably. Lastly, taking the time to speak with a mental health professional is also a good way to tackle the deeper root of a problem you may need help with. There’s no shame in seeking help when it comes to navigating the complexities of our behaviors and patterns.Everyone responds to stress differently. The key is to identify where the negative stressors of your life are, sometimes, the problems may lie within our own destructive habits! It can be as simple as poor time management and arriving late everywhere to being offended easily and breaking off relationships that could have been salvaged. 

In conclusion, give yourself a break. We’re all learning how to best care for ourselves in this life. Learning how to identify negative and ongoing stressors is a lifelong pursuit. The good news is you may have a village of people that love you and are willing to give you gentle feedback along the way. Ask those in your life “what do you feel has a negative impact on my life and stresses me out?” Ask people that you trust will deliver the feedback gently! Oftentimes we’re blind sided and are practicing habits we cannot recognize and stressing ourselves out. Be kind to yourself. Stress wears you down and causes a host of health issues and you’re worth so much more.